Patton Oswalt nominated for SCOTUS

President Obama is expected to announce actor Patton Oswalt to the Supreme Court as early as today.

Mr. Oswalt who has had roles in a string of television programs from "King of Queens" to "Reno 911" and "Caprica". As well as films such as the animated movie "Ratatouille" is expected to join the liberal wing of the court, keeping the balance where Justice John Paul Stevens left off.

"I will get my decisions straight from the White House, that was the only litmus test they had. This will be my greatest acting role." He is reported to have said to an obscure blog, although its authenticity has not been confirmed.

Patton Oswalt, 41, will don pearl necklace and earrings and call himself "Elena Kagan" so that he can play the third female Justice and the first openly, somewhat, homosexual on the SCOTUS. He is young enough that he/she might sit on the bench for decades. At least until his weight problem clogs his arteries so much his heart explodes.

"Well, we knew it was all about identity politics and diversity" said a source close to the White House (literally on the sidewalk in front of it) told this blog.

(humor, obviously)